Last night I returned from Rexburg where I dropped Doug off for a short summer session. He drove Jeff and Joanna's car (wow, how generous can a brother and sister-in-law be?) and I followed behind in the trusty Suburban.
It was hard. Mom's just can't bear to hear, "I don't think I want to stay, Mom". No matter how much I know this experience will help him, it is still hard to muster a smile, encourage him on his new "adventure" and then drive away!
I cried most of the way home.
I was thinking about how I wished I could turn back the clock for just a day. I would be in the stands in the Melba High School gym and I would be watching one of the "big" kids playing basketball. Doug and Mark would be running between the concession stand and the gym, tripping referees, setting off fire alarms and just having fun. Beth and Mike would be sitting on the bench with John Hackler and I would be cheering for my Mustang! We would then hash the game over all the way home, have a bowl of ice cream and diss on the referees for a while before going to bed. All 8 kids under the same roof. Our roof. Man, those were the good ol' days! I don't think I appreciated those times enough!
But IF I could turn back the clock I would miss knowing my beautiful daughters-in-law, my awesome sons-in-law and my 8 amazing grandchildren. I would miss knowing my children as adults and loving the way they take care of their families and love the Lord.
This morning, just as I was missing Doug, Cutter came in the back door with a flower for me (some hay with the bloom still on). I was reminded that I still have lots of boys and girls to love and even though my own kids are leaving home and moving on, I am still loved and needed.
It is still hard.
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7 comments:
oh mom, i miss those days too. i've been thinking about dougie all day. and have been wanting to call him or send him a text, but i broke my darn phone. you are such a wonderful mom. the fact that we all still cry every time we say goodbye shows what a close, loving family we have. i love you!
its pretty sad the farthest memory i have back is caroline and dan packing for college. i want us all to be back together for a while. you are the greatest mother mom. couldnt ask for anyone better on this planet! love you!
I cry EVERY time I have to leave Timari. I don't think I will ever get use to it. Glad to know that I am not the only one. :)
yes, you are still needed-what on earth would my boys do without grandma so close? cutter just can't get enough of grandma's house. thank you, thank you.
(and i'm pretty sure it's not us who are the generous ones, because we have been given much)
joanna
i loved reading that... just so you know, kids miss their moms too! Jorja
Liz,
Thank you so much for your note. I really appreciate it. Speaking in groups is so hard for me to do, but I learn so much from preparing them that I couldn't possible say no..although I REALLY want to :). Tell Pres. Beus That I am sorry for being such a baby. I held it together, right up till he asked me how I was..and then that was it, the tears were flowing. He felt bad. :(
I love you guys.
Charlie
Thanks for sharing that. I know I will all too soon be in your same position longing for the these days that I can hardy get through most of the time. I am going to come back and read this often to remind me that I will miss all this craziness and stress and frustration and all the good things in between. I am so impressed with your family.
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