Last night I returned from Rexburg where I dropped Doug off for a short summer session. He drove Jeff and Joanna's car (wow, how generous can a brother and sister-in-law be?) and I followed behind in the trusty Suburban.
It was hard. Mom's just can't bear to hear, "I don't think I want to stay, Mom". No matter how much I know this experience will help him, it is still hard to muster a smile, encourage him on his new "adventure" and then drive away!
I cried most of the way home.
I was thinking about how I wished I could turn back the clock for just a day. I would be in the stands in the Melba High School gym and I would be watching one of the "big" kids playing basketball. Doug and Mark would be running between the concession stand and the gym, tripping referees, setting off fire alarms and just having fun. Beth and Mike would be sitting on the bench with John Hackler and I would be cheering for my Mustang! We would then hash the game over all the way home, have a bowl of ice cream and diss on the referees for a while before going to bed. All 8 kids under the same roof. Our roof. Man, those were the good ol' days! I don't think I appreciated those times enough!
But IF I could turn back the clock I would miss knowing my beautiful daughters-in-law, my awesome sons-in-law and my 8 amazing grandchildren. I would miss knowing my children as adults and loving the way they take care of their families and love the Lord.
This morning, just as I was missing Doug, Cutter came in the back door with a flower for me (some hay with the bloom still on). I was reminded that I still have lots of boys and girls to love and even though my own kids are leaving home and moving on, I am still loved and needed.
It is still hard.
Tuesday, July 28, 2009
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